no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
