its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
