We won't sleep together?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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