Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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