they need to just BURY HIM!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
