hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
