Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
