goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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