His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
