you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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