Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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