So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
