2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Terrible idea I love it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
