so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
