Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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