I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
