Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
