yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
