I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My feet surprised me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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