I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
