After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Welp...herpes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
