things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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