I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
