I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
