I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
