I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
