Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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