my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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