God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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