i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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