very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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