Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
