Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize