i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
