Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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