he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My penis needs a shock collar
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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