you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
