Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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