clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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