yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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