so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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