I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
