I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
