just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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