I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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