Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
