my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
