so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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