his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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