don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
