So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
