I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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