Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
