I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
