If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
